Not-So-Great Reviewers, Spanish Language Version
Oh, this is the most fun I've had on the internet in ages. I get to combine my love of film with my love of making fun of people. More reviews of films done by amateurs, this time all Spanish movies. I also came to the realization that I need to see more Central and South American films. Oops.
Review of “Talk to Her” by AB from Washington, DC 2, one star
the suspension of disbelief does not come with this self consious movie. Although the subject matter would seem to be moving-the reality is somewhat tedious.
(Huh? I thought this was one of the best films ever… oh well, guess I was wrong.)
Review of “Abre los ojos” by Rita Youkers
As I was watching this movie, it seemed like I had seen it before. I didn't realize until the end of the movie, I did see it before! It was a generic copy of Vanilla Sky with Tom Cruise and Penelope Cruz. Why did she do a foreign version after the American version? It wasn't that great of a movie the first time.
(Oh, ouch! Rita doesn’t know that just because she saw Vanilla Sky before she saw Abre los Ojos, it doesn’t mean that Vanilla Sky was actually filmed first. Why the hell did Amenabar sell the rights to this brilliant film? Did he need the money that badly? Was selling the rights the condition which allowed him to start making Hollywood movies?)
Review of “Amores Perros” by Katrina Steidler
This movie was highly recommended to me, it was portrayed as a movie about peoples/dogs lives. Now I donýt mean to say that I thought this was some sort of Disney like dog portrayal movie. I was just very offended by the cruelty of the dog fighting. This movie warrants a strong warning for dog and animal lovers. Yes I am a dog lover my dogs lead better lives than most of the world population, I just had a hard time dealing with the reality of the movie. Looking past this issue, I did find the movie to be very Tarrentino like and I would watch another movie by this director sans the animal rights violations!!
(Poor Katrina. She actually thinks Mexicans kill puppies for entertainment. One thing I love about DVD technology is the bonus features, and one great thing about this DVD in particular is the very long and informative making-of featurette which details exactly how they filmed the entire movie without harming a single dog. Amores Perros is a painful movie to watch for animal lovers, but being one myself, I always sit through movie credits to wait for the “no animals were harmed in the making of this motion picture” disclaimer at the end… and it was sure there. Oh well.)
Review of “Bad Education” by Tom Fischbach, one star
I could not even get thru 10 minutes of this movie, it was terrible. It was also very, very sexual. Gay men in drag having oral sex in the first 5 minutes of the movie. I would not let anyone watch this under the age of 21. This is what is wrong with movies today. You did not need to have those scenes to get your point across Mr. Director. We as movie watchers are not dumb we get the drift without having to take it that far. The director went to far with the sex scenes. Even if the characters were not gay but a heterosexual couple, it was to much. The only people that will like this movie are people who are into gay porn. It was utter crap!
(OK – I might be overstepping my bounds after reading this, but I’m pretty sure that Mr. Fischbach is a closet homo. Who else would rent the gayest of gay films and then be mad about how gay it was?)
Review of “Talk to Her” by AB from Washington, DC 2, one star
the suspension of disbelief does not come with this self consious movie. Although the subject matter would seem to be moving-the reality is somewhat tedious.
(Huh? I thought this was one of the best films ever… oh well, guess I was wrong.)
Review of “Abre los ojos” by Rita Youkers
As I was watching this movie, it seemed like I had seen it before. I didn't realize until the end of the movie, I did see it before! It was a generic copy of Vanilla Sky with Tom Cruise and Penelope Cruz. Why did she do a foreign version after the American version? It wasn't that great of a movie the first time.
(Oh, ouch! Rita doesn’t know that just because she saw Vanilla Sky before she saw Abre los Ojos, it doesn’t mean that Vanilla Sky was actually filmed first. Why the hell did Amenabar sell the rights to this brilliant film? Did he need the money that badly? Was selling the rights the condition which allowed him to start making Hollywood movies?)
Review of “Amores Perros” by Katrina Steidler
This movie was highly recommended to me, it was portrayed as a movie about peoples/dogs lives. Now I donýt mean to say that I thought this was some sort of Disney like dog portrayal movie. I was just very offended by the cruelty of the dog fighting. This movie warrants a strong warning for dog and animal lovers. Yes I am a dog lover my dogs lead better lives than most of the world population, I just had a hard time dealing with the reality of the movie. Looking past this issue, I did find the movie to be very Tarrentino like and I would watch another movie by this director sans the animal rights violations!!
(Poor Katrina. She actually thinks Mexicans kill puppies for entertainment. One thing I love about DVD technology is the bonus features, and one great thing about this DVD in particular is the very long and informative making-of featurette which details exactly how they filmed the entire movie without harming a single dog. Amores Perros is a painful movie to watch for animal lovers, but being one myself, I always sit through movie credits to wait for the “no animals were harmed in the making of this motion picture” disclaimer at the end… and it was sure there. Oh well.)
Review of “Bad Education” by Tom Fischbach, one star
I could not even get thru 10 minutes of this movie, it was terrible. It was also very, very sexual. Gay men in drag having oral sex in the first 5 minutes of the movie. I would not let anyone watch this under the age of 21. This is what is wrong with movies today. You did not need to have those scenes to get your point across Mr. Director. We as movie watchers are not dumb we get the drift without having to take it that far. The director went to far with the sex scenes. Even if the characters were not gay but a heterosexual couple, it was to much. The only people that will like this movie are people who are into gay porn. It was utter crap!
(OK – I might be overstepping my bounds after reading this, but I’m pretty sure that Mr. Fischbach is a closet homo. Who else would rent the gayest of gay films and then be mad about how gay it was?)
posted by ginsoakedgirl at 10:55 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home