Not-So-Great Reviewers, French Film: PART ONE
DISCLAIMER: I LOVE FRENCH FILMS. Not everybody loves French films. I realize that. Anybody who loves film in general, however, needs to realize that France has had an immense influence on the trajectory of world cinema. And if they don’t realize that, they need to start watching a bunch of French films from the late 50s to early 80s. I won’t say which ones – it’s pretty easy to figure out. Now, on to the crappy reviews written by insane people on Netflix!
My friend Steve (nowadays referred to as Steven) gets the biggest kick out of the crazy MPAA ratings these days. Just a few years ago movies were rated R for violence or language, PG-13 for language, PG-13 for adult situations, etc. They kept it brief and to the point. Now there is a different description for every film released. I found it very funny that “He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not” was rated PG-13 for “Thematic elements and some obsessive behavior.” THEMATIC ELEMENTS. That phrase means nothing more than “Something that means something.” Or perhaps it would be easier to just say “Stuff.” How could such a meaningless phrase be used as justification for a PG-13 rating? And what about the “Obsessive Behavior?” I’m not even going to start on that one. Yes, I agree that this particular movie should not be seen by small children, but that’s besides the point.
Review of “He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not” by SR from CA – four stars
We liked this movie, a lot. Usually nothing happens in French movies. They are very slow, too slow for Americans. But this had some interesting twists. Give it a try.
(Actually, I was going to make fun of SR, but I think she/he has a point – French movies ARE too slow for most Americans. This one really isn’t. I liked it quite a bit, but within the spectrum of French film this would be towards the bottom. Yeah, I’m one of those snobs, but from time to time I can appreciate a movie that isn’t completely esoteric. Let’s face it, this is probably the most action-packed French film made EVER.)
Review of “The 400 Blows” by EE from Prior Lake, MN – one star
I saw this movie based on all the five star ratings I saw for it. Don't fall for them as I did. This film is boring and uninteresting from the first to the last moment, I had to force myself to watch it all the way through. There is no element in this film to recommend it other than to see what Paris looked like forty five years ago. Don't waste your time on it.
(Somebody gave “The 400 Blows” one star! ONE STAR! Wow, I have no commentary on this one. Actually I do – if you haven’t seen this movie yet – watch it immediately. If the film seems trite to you, please remember that’s only because every “lonely kid” movie in the past 40 years has stolen ideas shamelessly from this one… and if it seems boring, please remember that it’s French. Trust me, this is one of the best films ever made by my all-time favorite director.)
Review of “The 400 Blows” by JB from Philadelphia, PA – one star
I can't begin to express how disappointed I was in this film. There isn't one character, including the boy that is sympathetic. The main point of the film was to show how painful this boy's childhood was supposed to be. In the film, the boy is neither physically or sexually abused. He is not thrown out on the streets. While his parents are not June and Ward cleaver, they do feed him, clothe him and seem in their own way to care about his safety. The boy is genuinely unappealing. He's a liar, thief and does all he can to disobey his parents and teachers at every turn. His "harrowing" experiences with his parents do not compare to the horrible experiences millions of children face each day with genuinely abusive parents. At the end of the film, I not only didn't feel sorry for this boy, but had a genuine dislike for him. All in all, the film is incredibly boring and unsatisfying.
(I’m sorry that JB was apparently an abused child. But I think he’s truly missing the point. Seriously, how could anybody find the main character unappealing? It’s Jean-Pierre Leaud’s first movie – his acting style is so pure it can hardly even be called acting. And he played Antoine Doinel (the main character in The 400 Blows) again for four more movies, until he was in his 40s. Leaud is one of the most charismatic actors in the history of film… perhaps THE most charismatic… And until rather recently (when he got kind of fat) he was also one of the best-looking. So please back off of Leaud – he’s my boy! I’m going to Philadelphia to kick some JB ass!)
Review of “Jules and Jim” by Tim Foley – two stars
Normally, I like french films, and this had a lot of nice things going for it. The quirky direction was probably pretty revolutionary at the time, and at times made me think of Amelie with the playful way the movie played with the whole idea of 'calling attention' to itself as 'film', but overall, I was more than a little bored with the whole pointless mess. The love triangle was interesting in its way, but I've seen it done much more effectively elsewhere, and I had a hard time seeing exactly what it was that drew these two men towards this messed up woman.
(I guess I can’t expect everyone to view films with an open mind. But seriously, how could you watch Jules and Jim and compare it to AMELIE? These two movies should never be mentioned in the same sentence (unless you’re saying the sentence Jim and Jules is a French movie, and so is Amelie, but who fucking cares?) You do not need to be a film historian to appreciate a movie that was made before you were born - or a movie from a different culture. Trust me, I’ve done it. I just watched “The Mirror” by Tarkovsky and thought it was probably one of the best films I’ve ever seen in my life. I know next to nothing about Russian history (OK – more than the average American, but still not much), and I’m embarrassed that I’ve seen so very few Russian films. But I didn’t feel the need to compare it to anything else in the world. And film is really a pure art form – you can be involved with a film without completely understanding its particular cultural context. But Tim Foley watches a French film that predates Amelie by a good 40 years and still feels the need to use Amelie as the benchmark. Good job.)
Review of “Jules and Jim” by Mike Habetz from CT – one star
I know Truffaut is supposed to be some kind of genius, but this is a really stupid movie, and it's endless. My brother made me watch it and it was torture. (Then my wife made me watch the second half of Moulin Rouge, making it one of the most painful nights of my life.) I didn't find it remotely insightful into life, love, friendship, or any of the other topics it seems to be trying to treat. It's just three hours of 2 1/2 really annoying male characters obsessing over one really annoying female character and saying a lot of really stupid things that are supposed to be profound.
(Oh, this is truly painful. Somehow Mike Habetz is conflating one of my favorite movies (Jules and Jim) with the worst movie I’ve ever seen (Moulin Rouge). Maybe the pain from watching the second half of Moulin Rouge somehow tainted his memory of Jules and Jim. I’d like to think so. More likely – he was just pissed that his gay brother and wife ganged up on him, and there was some sort of sporting event on at the same time which he missed).
My friend Steve (nowadays referred to as Steven) gets the biggest kick out of the crazy MPAA ratings these days. Just a few years ago movies were rated R for violence or language, PG-13 for language, PG-13 for adult situations, etc. They kept it brief and to the point. Now there is a different description for every film released. I found it very funny that “He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not” was rated PG-13 for “Thematic elements and some obsessive behavior.” THEMATIC ELEMENTS. That phrase means nothing more than “Something that means something.” Or perhaps it would be easier to just say “Stuff.” How could such a meaningless phrase be used as justification for a PG-13 rating? And what about the “Obsessive Behavior?” I’m not even going to start on that one. Yes, I agree that this particular movie should not be seen by small children, but that’s besides the point.
Review of “He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not” by SR from CA – four stars
We liked this movie, a lot. Usually nothing happens in French movies. They are very slow, too slow for Americans. But this had some interesting twists. Give it a try.
(Actually, I was going to make fun of SR, but I think she/he has a point – French movies ARE too slow for most Americans. This one really isn’t. I liked it quite a bit, but within the spectrum of French film this would be towards the bottom. Yeah, I’m one of those snobs, but from time to time I can appreciate a movie that isn’t completely esoteric. Let’s face it, this is probably the most action-packed French film made EVER.)
Review of “The 400 Blows” by EE from Prior Lake, MN – one star
I saw this movie based on all the five star ratings I saw for it. Don't fall for them as I did. This film is boring and uninteresting from the first to the last moment, I had to force myself to watch it all the way through. There is no element in this film to recommend it other than to see what Paris looked like forty five years ago. Don't waste your time on it.
(Somebody gave “The 400 Blows” one star! ONE STAR! Wow, I have no commentary on this one. Actually I do – if you haven’t seen this movie yet – watch it immediately. If the film seems trite to you, please remember that’s only because every “lonely kid” movie in the past 40 years has stolen ideas shamelessly from this one… and if it seems boring, please remember that it’s French. Trust me, this is one of the best films ever made by my all-time favorite director.)
Review of “The 400 Blows” by JB from Philadelphia, PA – one star
I can't begin to express how disappointed I was in this film. There isn't one character, including the boy that is sympathetic. The main point of the film was to show how painful this boy's childhood was supposed to be. In the film, the boy is neither physically or sexually abused. He is not thrown out on the streets. While his parents are not June and Ward cleaver, they do feed him, clothe him and seem in their own way to care about his safety. The boy is genuinely unappealing. He's a liar, thief and does all he can to disobey his parents and teachers at every turn. His "harrowing" experiences with his parents do not compare to the horrible experiences millions of children face each day with genuinely abusive parents. At the end of the film, I not only didn't feel sorry for this boy, but had a genuine dislike for him. All in all, the film is incredibly boring and unsatisfying.
(I’m sorry that JB was apparently an abused child. But I think he’s truly missing the point. Seriously, how could anybody find the main character unappealing? It’s Jean-Pierre Leaud’s first movie – his acting style is so pure it can hardly even be called acting. And he played Antoine Doinel (the main character in The 400 Blows) again for four more movies, until he was in his 40s. Leaud is one of the most charismatic actors in the history of film… perhaps THE most charismatic… And until rather recently (when he got kind of fat) he was also one of the best-looking. So please back off of Leaud – he’s my boy! I’m going to Philadelphia to kick some JB ass!)
Review of “Jules and Jim” by Tim Foley – two stars
Normally, I like french films, and this had a lot of nice things going for it. The quirky direction was probably pretty revolutionary at the time, and at times made me think of Amelie with the playful way the movie played with the whole idea of 'calling attention' to itself as 'film', but overall, I was more than a little bored with the whole pointless mess. The love triangle was interesting in its way, but I've seen it done much more effectively elsewhere, and I had a hard time seeing exactly what it was that drew these two men towards this messed up woman.
(I guess I can’t expect everyone to view films with an open mind. But seriously, how could you watch Jules and Jim and compare it to AMELIE? These two movies should never be mentioned in the same sentence (unless you’re saying the sentence Jim and Jules is a French movie, and so is Amelie, but who fucking cares?) You do not need to be a film historian to appreciate a movie that was made before you were born - or a movie from a different culture. Trust me, I’ve done it. I just watched “The Mirror” by Tarkovsky and thought it was probably one of the best films I’ve ever seen in my life. I know next to nothing about Russian history (OK – more than the average American, but still not much), and I’m embarrassed that I’ve seen so very few Russian films. But I didn’t feel the need to compare it to anything else in the world. And film is really a pure art form – you can be involved with a film without completely understanding its particular cultural context. But Tim Foley watches a French film that predates Amelie by a good 40 years and still feels the need to use Amelie as the benchmark. Good job.)
Review of “Jules and Jim” by Mike Habetz from CT – one star
I know Truffaut is supposed to be some kind of genius, but this is a really stupid movie, and it's endless. My brother made me watch it and it was torture. (Then my wife made me watch the second half of Moulin Rouge, making it one of the most painful nights of my life.) I didn't find it remotely insightful into life, love, friendship, or any of the other topics it seems to be trying to treat. It's just three hours of 2 1/2 really annoying male characters obsessing over one really annoying female character and saying a lot of really stupid things that are supposed to be profound.
(Oh, this is truly painful. Somehow Mike Habetz is conflating one of my favorite movies (Jules and Jim) with the worst movie I’ve ever seen (Moulin Rouge). Maybe the pain from watching the second half of Moulin Rouge somehow tainted his memory of Jules and Jim. I’d like to think so. More likely – he was just pissed that his gay brother and wife ganged up on him, and there was some sort of sporting event on at the same time which he missed).
posted by ginsoakedgirl at 12:19 AM
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