I’m Incapable of Feeling Emotions Unless I’m Watching a Film

Well, that’s not entirely true, but lately it seems that the only time I get excited is when I think about/watch/read about movies. “Lately” being the last 13 years or so. Now that I’m unemployed and actually have the time to catch up on films, I’m immediately feeling overwhelmed by how much there is to catch up on. Sure, I changed my Netflix subscription to 4 at a time, thinking that I could make some headway into the 450+ movie queue… but then I added about 30 more movies. Sure, January through March is supposedly the hell-pit of every movie-going year, but in Chicago you can find something worth watching every damn day, even in January… but instead, I found myself repeatedly drawn to The New World as if I were a crack whore and that movie was my sweet pipe. In spite of my constant ravings, not a single one of my friends saw that movie. I did decide, however, that I’m going to name my first-born son Malick.

Anyway, here are a few things in the film world that I am excited about lately:

Ask the Dust



Why haven’t I seen this movie yet? I don’t know, but I’ll see it this week. Colin Farrell looks yummy, and apparently was cast in the film before he became the world’s most over-the-top adorable Irish dipsomaniac. And in a brilliant stroke of casting, Salma Hayek plays his romantic interest, which allows him to appear tall.

Reverse Shot Names The New World the Best Film of the Year:

The New World Is Super-Duper

The critics of Reverse Shot had already named their favorites of 2005, but neglected to see The New World. Upon seeing it, they overhauled their website to write one of the most insane reviews I’ve ever read. They basically surmise that The New World reinvents not only film, but also all art. I have to say that as crazy as it sounds, I pretty much agree with them. Why don’t I know any of these people? A good quote from the review, which is part of why the film is so alternately exhilarating and depressing:

“Upon exiting my second viewing on a cloudy matinee Sunday, I found that Malick’s vision had rendered our world drab and cheap—as if … Captain Christopher Newport’s (Christopher Plummer) warnings to his fellow settlers in the film had fallen on deaf ears, allowing America to grow up stunted, deformed, tainted, and gross. In short, into the world we inhabit today.”

Awesome!


Inside Man


I love Spike Lee. I go to see all his movies, and I love them, even the ones everyone else hates (example: I thought She Hate Me was pretty darn good, and only suffered from an overabundance of ideas). I find it peculiar that all of the posters and TV ads for Inside Man don’t mention the fact that Spike Lee was involved at all. It’s as if mentioning his name in connection to the movie would be a liability.

Brick



I mentioned this movie in the post where I raved about Joseph Gordon-Levitt. I had no idea Brick was actually going to get released (although probably only in big cities at first… I’m honestly not sure). People, please see this movie. It’s truly innovative. Even if you don’t like it, I’m sure you’ll admit you’ve never seen another movie quite like it. It seems like it’s getting a pretty big advertising push (at least on the internet)… so who knows, maybe it’ll do well.

Junebug

Yesterday, Kelly and I watched a really awesome movie that should be added to my Best of 2005 List. Junebug is one of those “independent” films that succeeds 100% - the characters are vividly portrayed and moving without being cloying or artificial, the cinematography instills a real sense of place without being self-consciously artsy, and it moves along at a pace that feels leisurely but is never boring. I don’t really have much to say about the movie – it’s just a perfect snapshot of a particular family in a specific place and time. I know that doesn’t sound really enticing, but it’s rare to see films like this. The last “indie” film I saw that I felt the same way about was The Station Agent. Sorry to keep using “indie” in quotes, but I really don’t know what term to use for this type of movie anymore.

I mostly wanted to post about this movie to reiterate how much I hate some of the people who share this earth with us. I’m going to highlight yet another Movie Review By a Total Retard, this time from Netflix:

By reviewer Kate Jones:
“The performances were wonderful. The characters were extremely believeable, and portrayed so well you felt what they felt, whether you liked it or not. However, that's not what I personally watch a movie for. I want entertainment, and that's not what I got from this film at all. 2 Stars.”

How anyone could be so soulless is really beyond me. I find this review to be much more offensive than the one directly beneath it:

By reviewer Joe:
“Even though the movie's only a hour and 45 minutes, it felt like 4...soooo long, sooooo boring... “

This person is clearly just a total idiot, but the first viewer actually felt some connection to the story and characters, and STILL somehow hated the movie. I like to read these reviews, because they make me extremely glad that I’m NOT one of these morons… nor are any of my friends.