Random Thoughts of the Day

PIGEONS
I saw one of the grossest things I’ve ever seen yesterday. While parking in the Jewel-Osco parking lot (also the parking lot for the clinic) I saw a recently run-over pigeon. I didn’t get too close, but it appeared that its gullet (stomach, whatever) had burst open, and one of its fellow pigeons was eating the food that spilled out of the corpse of his dead brother. It was completely disgusting, but almost impossible to look away. I didn’t feel like waiting around to see if the pigeons would actually eat one of their own, however. I’m pretty sure they would.

JAMES FRANCO
I find this fellow to be extremely good-looking. He doesn’t even have the advantage of being a liminal Hollywood actor, however: Every movie he’s in seems to be pure shit. I should modify that – he was in Robert Altman’s ballet film The Company, and I loved that. Nobody else even bothered to watch it though. It was a small, contained picture, but expertly filmed and really enjoyable. Everything else he’s in appears to be completely without merit. Just look at his output from the last two years: Tristan + Isolde, Flyboys, and two films that he both directed and starred in called The Ape and The Great Raid (I’m assuming they both went directly to DVD). Either he’s seriously trying to be a director, or he’s stuck in vanity project hell. I guess he wins bonus points for the audacity of directing and starring in those films, but I’m also afraid to watch them.

I should be fair and point out that I haven’t seen any of those movies, and don’t think anyone else saw them either. A pretty face isn’t enough to get me to drag my ass into the theater to see something like Annapolis (sorry, Justin Lin).

JAMES WOODS
James Woods is a legitimate Hollywood character. He’s a great actor (kind of the opposite of James Franco) and has made some really smart career choices, notably starring as Max Renn in Videodrome and as Ray Cohn in Citizen Cohn.
I’ll grant him these achievements in spite of the fact that he is supposedly a Republican. Who knows if he goes so far as to be an actual Bush supporter – I’d rather not know. What I know for sure is that even though he’s 30 years older than me, if I wanted to date him (which I don’t), I am WAY too old for him. I have absolutely no problem with age-difference relationships, and like the idea of dating older men in general. But, seriously, James Woods and his 19-year-old ex-girlfriend? That’s creepy. And here’s a tidbit gleaned from imdb: “(James Woods) was engaged to actress Missy Crider in 1997; they met when she played his daughter in the TV movie Jane's House.” Ewwwww.....

LIMINAL HOLLYWOOD CELEBRITY

My college Latin teacher’s favorite English word was liminal, and I was recently thinking about how I don’t use this word enough.

LIMINAL:
Etymology: Latin limin-, limen threshold
1 : of or relating to a sensory threshold
2 : barely perceptible
3 : of, relating to, or being an intermediate state, phase, or condition

There are many opportunities to use this word on a daily basis. All you have to do is start to step through a doorway, and then hesitate, and while you’re between one room and the next… You’re a liminal creature! You’re neither in one room nor the other…. You’re a creature of the threshold… you might not exist at all! It’s just that fun!

I was thinking about using the word “liminal” to demarcate the space between a cool celebrity and a lame celebrity. If the celebrity in question took one small step towards coolness, he would be completely safe from the “lame” realm. If, on the other hand, he stumbles the other way… it’s too late, he’s no longer liminal, but a full-fledged lame-o. Many celebrities embody both cool and lame qualities, and I’d like to explore this further. So, without further ado, my first Liminal Hollywood Celebrity:

JARED LETO

Jared Leto embodies the nature of a liminal Hollywood creature. He is really teetering on the brink between coolness and lameness.

WORKING FOR HIM:
1. This is a big one: He took an axe in the face as Paul Allen in American Psycho. Anyone who has a starring role in American Psycho wins major bonus points for all of eternity.
2. Has actually had roles in a large number of indie flicks (Requiem for a Dream, Fight Club, Girl, Interrupted).
3. Was in My So-Called Life, and was darn cute while in it.
4. Gained a considerable amount of weight to play Mark David Chapman in Chapter 27, and appears to have lost it again, easily.
5. Seems to have a nice ass.
6. Starring role as Hephaistion in Oliver Stone’s Alexander. This counts as either a liability or a bonus point, depending on who you ask. I’m not even sure myself.
WORKING AGAINST HIM:
1. Vanity band 30 Seconds to Mars – this is a major liability. He wears tons of mascara, dresses in pleather, and wails like a banshee for no perceptible reason.
2. My roommate saw 30 Seconds to Mars today at Lollapalooza, and she said Jared Leto kept encouraging the crowd to shout “Lollapalooza!” and “Chicago!” That’s pretty lame. Also, we saw him on The Tonight Show a couple nights ago, and his singing voice is downright bad.
3. Apparently slept with La Lohan. I shouldn’t even include this – after all, you can’t judge people by who they date (and/or sleep with). If this were the case, I should scorn Chris Isaak for all eternity just because he dated Bai Ling…. That’s not entirely fair, is it?

THE FINAL VERDICT:
So, Jared Leto appears to have more strikes for him than against him. A vanity band is a major liability, and his is apparently gaining some amount of attention. Jared Leto is a true liminal creature: He has shown some true acting chops, and needs to focus on this instead of his band in order to pull himself out of the threshold…

I CONTINUE TO WATCH MOVIES

#1,981 – VARIAN’S WAR – Does this count as a movie even though it was never released in the theater? I say yes (after all, Adrian Lyne’s Lolita was never released in the theater). Anyway, it’s part of my “William Hurt” queue. This movie was not very good – you can tell it’s made for cable.

#1,982 – TRUE COLORS – This is a great early 90s flick with John Cusack and James Spader. It’s weirdly homoerotic, but I love me some James Spader.

#1,983 – GORKY PARK – Another entry from the William Hurt queue. This movie fits solidly into one of the film categories that bother me: Movies that ostensibly take place in other countries, but all the dialog is in English. This movie takes place in Russia, but everyone speaks English in a variety of strange accents.

#1,984 – RAGING BULL – Can you believe I’ve never seen this movie before? I can’t believe it, either.

#1,985 – PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN’S CHEST – see 25 blog. What do I think about this movie? Eh, whatever.

#1,986 – ANOTHER WOMAN – An old Woody Allen/Mia Farrow collaboration that I’ve never seen before. It was pretty interesting, although it’s somewhat depressing to see his Mia Farrow films in retrospect.

#1,987 – 16 BLOCKS – Bruce Willis is drunk and old. Mos Def has a weird voice. Hijinks ensue. Actually this movie wasn’t bad.

#1,988 – MIAMI VICE – see 25 blog. I don’t know why I love Colin Farrell’s greasy shoulder-length locks so much. It’s a hairstyle that really doesn’t work on anyone else, in my opinion.

#1,989 – RICK – This was a little-seen independent film starring Bill Pullman. It’s a updated version of Rigoletto, so that much is interesting. But they tried too hard to make this a satire along the lines of American Psycho, and failed in that respect.

#1,990 – INTACTO – This is a Spanish film with an X-Files premise. There were some interesting ideas and visuals, but I found it needlessly convoluted. To enjoy this film you have to really suspend all disbelief (much more than you would while watching The X-Files, even).

#1,991 – PORCILE – A late 60s Pasolini film about bestiality and cannibalism and other charming subjects. The best part of this was the bonus feature – a short documentary about Pasolini, which includes a fake “interview” with an American. He’s this dopey blonde surfer dude who says, “Pasolini? Whatever. I love Antonioni! I saw Zabriskie Point (an Antonioni film) 5 times! I saw The Gospel According to… Matthew, or whoever (a Pasolini film)… that was a piece of crap!” Yes, the director makes fun of another director from his home country in a documentary by using the “American Asshole” stock character. Priceless.